having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
