they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
