I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
