The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
