I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
