I think im going to throw up on grandma
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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