You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
