If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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