Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
