the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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