put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
