he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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