You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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