This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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