if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you didnt know i had herpes?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
