no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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