Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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