And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
