chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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