final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
