A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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