the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
