I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
