Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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