is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
