I accidentally had phone sex last night
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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