he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
