apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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