I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
