Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
