Pants 0. Shit 1.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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