I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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