nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
