Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
