one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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