I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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