he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
