You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
this must be what syphilis tastes like
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
