She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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