I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
