i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
