I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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