Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize