Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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