Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
