Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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