I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
