is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
