I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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