he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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