last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
