HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
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how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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