he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
